5 things I learnt on my year abroad

It’s been just over one year since I moved back to the UK after spending almost a year living in France as part of my degree. Every now and then since my return I get forwarded an email from a second year student asking for accommodation advice. As I write the response, I get very nostalgic as I reminisce on such an eventful year for my personal growth. I received one of these emails from a student last week, and it made me want to include some of my experiences and what they taught me me here in my blog.

What did my year abroad actually consist of? I split my year between studying and working. In first semester I studied in Grenoble, a charming city that lies in a valley surrounded by the beautiful French Alps. Here I took classes at the Université Grenoble-Alpes. Experiencing a different education system was fascinating yet also challenging. My university accommodation was set halfway up a mountain overlooking the city below. Being located slightly outside the city, the students had created a tight knit and social community, with bar nights that were more fun than the city’s clubs because everyone knew everyone.

In January it was time to move to Paris. I was heartbroken to leave the friendship group I had grown so close to in Grenoble, but I knew it was time to start the next chapter. Going from student life to working in an office 8 hours a day meant I had to change my routine literally overnight: we moved up on a Sunday and I started work on the Monday. But I welcomed the change to a more structured life pattern. My job was to manage and create the content for the English and Italian websites of a holiday rental search engine. I lived alone in a tiny studio (and I mean tiny: it was 10m²) in the 9th arrondissement. This was another complete lifestyle change: I went from living in a building where I knew almost everyone, to living alone in a very confined space. But its location more than made up for its size: it was only a 20 minute commute to work, and a walkable distance to the Moulin Rouge, Montmartre and even the Louvre. I also had several friends from school that were living in Paris that I reconnected with. Overall, it’s safe to say it was the best year of my life. But it did come with its ups and downs. Here are 5 of the most important lessons I learnt:

You are more confident than you think you are

I went into my year abroad after a very difficult second year that left me not really knowing who I was. My self-esteem was in pieces and I had very little confidence in my social abilities. The move abroad was exactly what I needed to solve these problems for several reasons. Firstly, I was lucky enough to be in university accommodation that was extremely social. In Grenoble, I easily fitted in and got along with many people and quickly made a wonderful group of kind and supportive friends from all over the world. This sociable and friendly environment instilled in me a confidence I had never felt before. I realised that I was much more able to adapt and thrive in new situations than I previously thought. I was happy and discovered how much of an extrovert I really am.

Living alone is more liberating than it is scary

I’m a people person and have never really been one to enjoy my own company for long periods of time – so I was slightly terrified at the prospect of living alone in Paris after the super sociable environment I was living in, in Grenoble. But that little 10m² studio taught me to value my own company and that alone time, can be rejuvenating rather than completely isolating. But everything in moderation, right? I must admit I did make sure I had plans for most evenings after work, but that meant, the evenings I spent alone were out of choice and because of that, I valued that time much more. Also, for the first time in my life I had an entire living space that was completely mine. No shared kitchen meant no having to wait for a free hob to cook, and I could have whoever I wanted over for dinner or drinks without bothering any flatmates or family members. It was definitely a learning experience I recommend to anyone who craves independence and a time for personal growth.

Don’t put people on a pedestal: no one is perfect

My best friend and I halfway through the year had a huge falling out. This was over something she did that shocked and surprised me on a level I didn’t even know was possible. But eventually, I realised the extent of my shock and surprise was partly because I had put her on a pedestal: my regard for her was unrealistically high and after she told me what she had done, I had to reevaluate our friendship and view her in a different light. This was not easy, and it took time, but eventually I realised she was the same girl she had always been, she was only human and could make mistakes. And haven’t we all? I am by no means a saint and I haven’t always handle things as well as I could have. Remembering that no one is perfect and trying to be less judgemental is so important. I realised she had fallen from grace in my eyes because I had, in my mind, put her high enough to fall. It was a huge stumbling block in our friendship but one that we eventually managed to overcome and now we are stronger than ever because of it.

Being thrown in at the deep end is the best way to learn

My first time skiing was on the opening day of the Les Deux Alpes ski resort season on the 1st of December 2018. I went with a group of friends that were all very experienced skiers. I was the only beginner so I followed them wherever they went: which meant my first slope was an advanced one and I just had to deal with it. Turns out, that was the best way to learn. It was either that or being stuck up on the highest mountain I’d ever been on. Being thrown in the deep end in order to improve as fast as I could also applied to my language learning whilst I lived there. Having to speak French in everyday situations forced me to practice and greatly improved my confidence.

The French really do love baguettes

The French word for magic wand and also for a chopstick is baguette. I once saw a man cycling with both the front and rear basket of his bike overflowing with baguettes. Enough said.

Now I need to channel all of these lessons I have learnt into the next chapter of my life, which will hopefully also be abroad. Hoping the pandemic improves in the next few months so I can start planning…